My friend Jon has his 8 ways lists . I think I will try 3 reasons…that shouldn’t be too hard, should it?
Tonight, Michael and I had a scheduled phone conversation with a friend of a friend from Oregon who is helping us out with some financial planning. I labored and fussed about this conversation all day today–we were supposed to be asking questions and I was having trouble formulating mine–although it turned out to be a very amiable and helpful 45 minutes (due in large part to the party on the other end of the line having a real servant heart to go with his passion for helping people with their finances.) But, in general, I don’t prefer the phone because
1) the non-verbal cues are absent–no rolled or questioning eyes, no raised or relaxed eyebrows, no wrinkled or peaceful foreheads, no crossed or open arms. Even email has emoticons.
2) there is always the chance of a dropped call or a dying battery–definite conversation stoppers.
3) I am too distracted by my surroundings on my end of the conversation, which usually means I miss something and then have to either admit I missed something because I wasn’t paying attention, or fake it and act like I know what’s going on when I really don’t. The first is humbling, the second is dishonest.
I prefer face-to-face or written communication. What about you?
I hate phone calls.
I think it boils down to a simple phobia, at least for me. Or maybe I just feel like I’m getting half the person, compared to face-to-face.
I’m more of the incomplete person than phobic camp myself…Thanks for stopping by, Paul.
I REALLY dislike using the phone! I hate not being able to see the person I’m talking to. But that begs the question of why do I use email? It’s the same thing. I can’t see the person. But in an email, I have time to think through my every thought and word it just right. I can delete things that came out wrong. You can’t take something back after it’s been said out loud. Careless emails are much harder to do than careless spur of the moment comments (for me at least). And an email can’t really come at a bad time because people check their email on purpose. If they’re in the middle of cleaning up barf (can you tell I have kids) and the phone rings, it’s not a good time. If an email comes at that same time, no big deal. They’ll get it when they have time.
That being said, the phone does have certain advantages to immediacy of communication. They might not get my email for a few days and if I need an answer right away, that might not be the best thing and I end up calling them anyway. Hopefully after the barf is taken care of.
I have to laugh (your “middle of the barf” would more than likely be my “disaster moment in the kitchen”)–otherwise, I could have written your comment, Stacey! Thanks for taking the time!
I enjoy talking on the phone, but it depends on who I’m with. The lack of facial expressions has actually come in handy with a few interviews, being on both sides of them. When I’ve scrunched my face because I didn’t think my answer was worded quite right, or when I’ve rolled my eyes at someone I was interviewing for an article because of my own cynicism, they don’t see that, and I don’t have to worry about messing up even worse than I already have.
Even still, I’d prefer face-to-face better than anything. You can’t have a phone-hug or an e-hug. It’s just not the same.
Daughter Erin–Would you accept a virtual hug from your other mom, in lieu of the real thing?