“Who have you listened to carefully?”–another of Jon Swanson’s questions for reviewing 2010.
I try to listen carefully to the people who are closest to me, the people to/for whom I have responsibility: my husband, my children, my grandchildren, my friends, my students. What has that looked like in 2010?
Those of you who know me/our family know that my husband Michael lost his job when Taylor University closed its Fort Wayne campus in May 2009. His unemployment is still a reality, despite multiple job apps and several interviews. Listening carefully to Michael’s mind and emotions and spirit in this part of the journey is one of the hardest “listenings” I’ve been called upon to do in my life. I have learned that there are limits to which one can get inside another’s mind and heart and that sometimes just walking alongside, listening, seems like a very unhelpful partnership indeed. Beyond that, we have both tried to listen carefully to what God is saying about this season; there have been many, many times when that effort has seemed to yield silence. But, as 2010 draws to a close and the calendar turns to the first days of 2011, we will continue to listen with hope and trust. God, adjust our hearing if we are not tuned in at the right frequency.
A mother listens to her children even before they are born. What mother of the modern age hasn’t thrilled to hear that first swish-swish-swish sounding heartbeat detected at a pre-natal visit? When our children are with us every day, we hear a great deal, but may listen less if we let life’s stresses separate our ears from our hearts. When our children leave our homes, we don’t hear them as often or as much; does that make listening easier? My children are at threshold stages of life: young motherhood and grad school, about to be married, senior in high school. It is so tempting to talk, talk, talk, but I am painfully aware that my best mothering at this stage may come in the form of being a better listener. Part of listening is pulse taking–I’ve been trying to do better at hearing hearts when it comes to my kids.
I teach college students. They come with stories. Class time doesn’t give much opportunity for them to tell them. But those stories give shape to their lives, and it is that shape that determines their successes or failures as students. I try to hear the pieces of their stories that come through in every conversation or email or response to a question. I’m discovering that at the point of their story bits, we connect most and best. My philosophy of education is that teaching, if it is nothing else, is relational. Listening well helps me be a more effective teacher.
I would like to say I have listened carefully to God in 2010. But, if I am to be honest, I know there are far too many times that I’ve been in another room when He was speaking. God, just as I am drawn into a room where a fire is blazing in the hearth and lights twinkle welcome, let me quickly and always draw near to the irresistible light and warmth of your voice to me in the cold and dark of my sojourn apart from your presence.
My prayer is for clean ears.
